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Baking Cakes for the WWE

November 9, 2015

I am constantly wondering what the WWE could do to raise the bar for professional wrestling in 2015.

I think its pretty much understood that the WWE use ‘Wrestlemania’ as a device to sell the ‘Dream’ to each and every wrestler, in a very similar fashion as to how Hollywood sell californication to all those hopeful aspiring actors around the world. It adds to the propaganda they spoon feed to their fans that is ‘You cant make it in this business unless you’ve wrestled at ‘Wrestlemania’.


For so long now we have been given the exact same formula of WWE Raw, its counterparts and its Pay Per Views, and especially one specific element – the authority figure. Whether it’s a General Manager, a C.O.O, a Commissioner or simply just the ‘Owner’ of the company; its been the exact same formula. The show centres entirely around said character in one way or another..

When Vince McMahon first came on screen as his character; who was too know that this would be the next 15 years of pro wrestling just recycled over and over again--In a variety of poor ass attempts at trying to recapture that magic.

I feel this concept has been beaten to death and it’s a huge reason as to why nothing ever feels fresh, I’m not personally attacking Triple H here. I just think that the character he portrays is no longer necessary. We’ve seen each and every possible situation in one way or another that this character can generate and quite frankly, We’re numb to it. It has been the same thing each week for the past 15 years, the only thing that’s different is the face behind the suit.

Seeing Triple H come out each and every week calling the shots, and the handful of people before him doing the exact same thing for 10+ years since has made us as an audience numb to this character and the authority that this character offers a storyline. The only positive thing that it seems to of done is protect the character of Mr. McMahon, because on those very rare occasions that we do see Vince, we do still kind of care. Due to seeing him so little, Mr. McMahon brings a seriousness to a situation when he presents himself – Quite frankly, in the words of ‘Good ol’ JR’, when “No Chance in Hell” hits the arena “Business has just picked up”.


I wonder why they don’t think more outside the box with their creativity. Why they don’t push the envelope a bit more, instead of just relying on the same old tired plot devices. Its got to the point now where predictable isn’t even the word for what we see. The WWE audience know every trick in the book, Why? – Because they’ve been using the same tricks since the eighties. From every ‘blackened out arena, lights come on, person standing in the ring’—To even calling the exact moment when a heel is going to powder.

I often wonder how the WWE audience would react to backstage segments that involved us seeing wrestlers complain or be humoured by the booking of their match for that evening, segments in which we see wrestlers brawling and fall into the ‘Gorilla position’ and we see Triple H on a head set – surely that would create realism? Surely that is the evolution of Kayfabe in 2015. We all know Triple H is their on the headsets controlling the show, so why not use it as a way to bring realism to your show? If the audience heard the term “Booking” on the show, or seen Gorilla position, it would be the most talked about thing in years.


Yes, wrestling is real. But people are willing to suspend their disbelief if you let them and if you do not insult their intelligence.


It would be refreshing to see some of the main roster take offence to the amount of publicity that NXT has been getting. If these are “The future” of WWE, then consider exploring this as a possible creative direction. Let us see some of the main roster be fearful of losing their jobs. The Raw roster should be insulted that “These NXT Rookies whom are barely out of the performance centre” are trying to take their spot.


I want to see a ring vet like Samoa Joe walk into the Raw locker room and someone like Heath Slater slap him on the back and say “Hey, I know you’re new here and its taken you a long time to get to the big leagues, but if you stick with me and you’ll be fine..” – Later that night, Joe beats the crap out of him in the ring – What this does is send a message, and compliments this illusion that Triple H is trying to create that NXT is a revolution and its happening now.


I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again – WWE, if you want anyone to care about professional wrestling, which I assume you do because that’s your business – then you NEED to start thinking more outside the box, I say these things not because I want to come across as a smart ass mark, or a “Know it all”. I say it because I LOVE your business, and I don’t want it to die. I don’t want people to stop caring about it, because it has such a rich history and a future filled with all the potential in the world, but people are slowly not giving a damn about it because not only is it poor entertainment, but there is too much GOOD TV out their and because of how bad the WWE is right now, I cant see it surviving. It cannot compete.


The WWE product sucks – The suits up in Stamford need to stop being ignorant to this fact, or at least stop being so proud to admit that the “Brilliant, Genius Mr Vince McMahon” doesn’t know how to fix it. Your ratings speak truth and NO it is NOT because “The times have changed” -- Yes peoples viewing habits are different in 2015 compared to ‘The Attitude Era’.

In October 2015 the UKs highest rated show was ‘The Great British Bake Off” – 14 million people tuned in to watch the finale. With the UK population only around 70 million, 14 million of those tuned in to watch a show about BAKING CAKES! – the US population is over 300 million and only 3 million of those (Authors Note: And that’s on a GOOD week) tune in to watch the WWE.


WWE, Heed this warning – unless you either push that creative envelope, or start baking cakes, it seems the business is going the way of Roller Derby.


Ladies and Gentlemen, As per usual, I thank each and every one of you for taking the time to read my musings. Make sure to Subscribe to The Brands VIP, and until next time, I’ve been Jake Jesus, and that’s what’s best for business…


Follow Jake on Twitter: @IAmJakeJesus


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