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The Happenings of the WWE

January 13, 2016


Happy New Year to all you smarks and marks out there in the wrestling world!


Another year, marks another brand new year for wrestling! Which basically means another year filled with two dimensional characters, plastic promos and a whole lot of head scratching, wondering why the WWE have made yet another unexplainable decision—‘cos lets be honest here, when was the last time the WWE actually brought closure to a storyline, not just in a satisfying way, but in a way that actually made total logical sense—because the past few years has been filled with nothing but angles where things kind of just…happen.


The ideas have all been there, the Nexus was a fantastic idea—on paper. The Sheild was an interesting concept to freshen things up on Raw and to introduce three young up and comers who all, in their own unique ways had the potential to be three breakout stars. The Wyatt Family was so amazingly ground breaking that it allowed the WWE to go down new and alternative creative avenues that it had never branched out to before. But what all three of these concepts all have in common, is not one of them actually followed through with the potential that they had.


First impressions mean a huge deal, especially in professional wrestling. So when the Nexus debuted, they most certainly made a huge first impression to the audience. I couldn’t believe what I had just witnessed, I had to switch on every week to find out what they were going to do next—and the impact they made was so big that you really didn’t know what was going to happen next! But it didn’t take long for us to realise that actually, that’s about as far as it goes for them—they soon shown their true colours, that they were not this unpredictable ‘force to be reckoned with’—they were in fact, just a bunch of guys shoved together simply as an obstacle for John Cena to over come to make him to look stronger.


Not too long after, we were introduced to ‘The Hounds of Justice’—The Shield. Like a stray cat, they kind of just turned up one day and have stuck around the place ever since—no one really knows why, but over time they became just three other faces in the crowd—which allowed for WWE to divert from the fact that the reasoning for their presence in the first place was never actually explained. We instead just got used to seeing them around and because we had high expectations of each individual member, we made a silent agreement with WWE to allow them to never actually explain a damn thing about them.


(Authors Note: Between the three of them they actually made one half decent wrestler. Dean Ambrose had the promo skills, Seth Rollins had the In-ring ability and Roman Reigns had the look. Unfortunately, the WWE decided that splitting them up was the best thing to do, when in actual fact all it has done is reveal each of their weakness’)

The memorizing, master manipulator that was once Bray Wyatt has quickly gone from being arguably the most interesting of characters the WWE has had in recent years, to being a stepping stone for guys like Dean Ambrose, it wouldn’t be so bad if it actually did anything for these guys he’s jobbing out to each week, but it doesn’t. Beating Bray Wyatt doesn’t open the door for them to step further up the ladder, they just remain on the same step of this hypothetical ladder until the suits give the permission to either climb up, or force them to step down—All this does is hurt Bray Wyatt.

I understand what they are trying to do, in a typical Charles Manson style, Bray uses the Wyatt Family to do his dirty work, so whilst the family are busy beating on the Kanes and the John Cenas, Bray can weaken them and strike. And on paper, it has the potential to be very clever. The problem though? Is it never goes anywhere.

Why is it that when the Wyatt Family carry a person out over their shoulders, that’s the end of it.

I get its supposed to be symbolism, and they are not specifically ending the angle that way, its just a nice compliment to Bray Wyatts victory, and I get its supposed to compliment the ‘Hill-Billy Jim Jones’ character. But the problem is, is that interferes with the closure of the story you are trying to tell, especially when the next week, John Cena comes out and acts like nothing has happened.

If you want them to carry their weakened opponent out on their shoulders as some kind of religious cult symbolism, then something NEEDS to happen at the end, not JUST carrying a person out and leaving it at that. We need closure to this for it to make any kind of sense! Because quite frankly, the “mystery” of where they could be carrying their opponent isn’t enough. You cant just expect us to assume, we need closure.


But instead we don’t get it. Instead these things just..happen and they expect us to just—Get it.

Its like, they take a guy like Bray Wyatt and think “He’s a hill billy with a messiah complex, we don’t need to show it, they’ll just get it and we’ll leave it at that”—and we do, until you forget to keep reminding us, because that’s when he just becomes a fat guy in a costume.


Ladies and Gentlemen, I’ve been Jake Jesus – And like always, thank you for taking the time to read my musings, and this has been what’s best for business.


Follow Jake on Twitter @IAmJakeJesus



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